Day 53 from Burbank: I Have To Change My Whole Life.

My friend's garden.

I have to change my whole life.

This is how jet lag hits me.

I've had it enough times to know that when I get all bummed out after a long trip and start thinking I have to change my whole life, I'm in jet lag land.

You know what helps this? Chips and salsa.

The first bag's free. My dealer, the stewardess on the airplane 2 days ago, gave me a bag of chips. I was feeling good and the bag said "all natural, not fried, blah, blah, blah". I ate the bag. Then asked for another. Then bought 2 bags at the store yesterday. I ate one last night and I already know I will eat the other one tonight. If this keeps up I will be mainlining Nacho Cheese Doritos dipped in sour cream and pace picante hot sauce by tomorrow night.

And so my shame spiral begins.

This is not the French Skinny way.

Crepe fail.

But with bacon, goat cheese, tomatoes and onions it's still delicious.

I finished my kids mac and cheese, then ate more chips and salsa. Then ate chocolate.

For dinner I made Eva's Soup. So delicious. More chocolate for dessert.

Before I went to bed I ate the whole bag of chips.

No stairs. No walking.

I'm feeling uncomfortable in every aspect of my life today.

Let's just say I'm not proud of any of this.

Not my attitude.

Not my self centered behavior.

Not my blaming the stewardess.

I guess there are going to be good days and bad days.

Today I feel lost. And then I remember how lucky I am.

My family.

My friends.

My health.

My home.

The list goes on and on.

This is where I get embarrassed for all my pity party craziness. I am the luckiest person I know. And I'm grateful for all of it.

Except for that biatch who gave me a bag of chips on the plane.

I'm kidding. No seriously, I'm totally almost kidding.

Putain Chips!

Day 53 from France: Dinner By The Seaside

Shaboom sends us her update from Paris...

My parents and I were going to meet at their hotel for breakfast before driving to Brittany. Obsessed! hates when I leave town, even though I'm only leaving for 3-4 days. So he insisted on driving me to their hotel so he could spend an extra half hour with me and so he could go say hi to them.

He was late getting up and took a long time getting ready so we were nearly an hour late. I consequently missed breakfast and was incredibly irritated with him. (Side note - my parents are insanely punctual, so being late for them is not only disappointing, but stressful for me.) But my parents find Obsessed! to be very charming and although tardiness is normally a sure-fire way to piss them off, they said nothing and were gracious and full of smiles when they saw him. They had even brought him a present and goodies with them from back home.

Once my parents and I got on the road, my mom passed me a tiny ham and cheese sandwich that she had wrapped up for me from breakfast. She is so sweet.

We drove west from Paris and I fell asleep in the backseat. I woke up around Angers, where I went to University many moons ago.

I fell asleep again for pretty much the rest of the drive. When we arrived in Lorient, we checked into our hotel and had a gin & tonic happy hour (with a snack of roasted peanuts!!!) before we took a nice long walk to check out the town.

We even saw a cool old hotel that made me feel like I was in the 1960s back in Santa Monica...

We're a family of sailors so we went down to the harbor, natch.

After looking around at all the pretty boats, we continued our walk and eventually ended the beautiful day with dinner at a restaurant on the harbor.

My salad was TO DIE FOR. Yes, that's a poached egg and ham. The vinaigrette was amazing.

The beef skewer entree:

And don't forget dessert and coffee!

I love a good crème brûlée.

Karen-Day 52 from Burbank: Yes I Am Home.

Karen sends her posts from Burbank, CA, USA

Hubby is playing golf today???? But I just got back last night......

Flashback to New York. I'm on a skype video conference with Hubby. He's trying to talk over 3 who is running around screaming in the background. Hubby looks exhausted......

" I'm going to need a golf day when you get back."

" Of course, honey. ( I'm feeling slightly guilty about the massage I'm about to get) Absolutely."

Okay, I can do this. That massage seems so long ago.

The Sgt. Major comes over to play golf with Hubby. He brings Grandma Dee to help me.

Grandma Dee goes with me on an endless road trip of errands. Am I underwater?

We get back and I make everyone a ham and cheese crepe. It's the first crepe Grandma Dee has ever had. Of course she says she loves it. She's kind of perfect that way.

The guys are back by 2:00pm. The Sgt. Major takes Grandma Dee home.

Hubby takes one look at me and tells me to go lay down.

I sleep for 2 hours straight. Then I hear 3 whispering in my ear.

"Momma.... Momma...... MOMMA!"

(My eyes are open now)

"I made a piece of artwork for you. Come see."

"Momma, we can leave it here for everyone to see my art. Do you LOVE it?"

"Yes Baby, I love it. Thank you for making that for me."

"I love you Momma."

Yes I am home.

Day 52 from France: Shaboom's Parents Come to Town

Shaboom sends us her update from Paris...

Obsessed! is crazy involved with his new business and gets up early and bangs around in the kitchen like no one is listening. At 10am I awoke and he fed me olive ham cakes. Yummy!

He went off to sell his crêpes to the public so my OCD self started to clean, dust, and vacuum ...and put away the MOUNDS and MOUNTAINS of Obsessed's laundry. It's what I do.

For the time being.

And then I realized I was home alone and that Obsessed had run out trying to distract me from the fact that he hadn't made me any coffee by throwing savory cakes in my path.

So I tried to make coffee. I think I may have burned it. This "single" life is hard!

He left me a crêpe ready to heat up for lunch. Aww... it almost makes me forget all the crazy things Vapors told me about him last night.

At 5pm, I was to have an interview with an advertising executive for *gasp* a real job. She canceled in the 10th hour.

So I ate another crêpe.

My parents arrived by plane to Paris a few hours later. I couldn't go meet them immediately because I had rehearsal and it was such a beautiful day that I had to take a photo of the neighborhood where we get together.

How can anyone hate Paris?!?! This may be the most enchanting city in the world!!!

After rehearsal, I rushed home and Obsessed! made me dinner and sent me with a delicious goody bag for my parents who I met at their hotel. They brought me tons of goodies and I exchanged their kindness for lots of hugs and scrumptious picnic. (Thanks, Obsessed!)

We said goodnight for the evening so I could go home to "sleep" for a few hours before we're due to meet up tomorrow for our long weekend in Normandy and Brittany. I can't wait! French countryside + Parental love + yacht shopping = relaxation in Shaboom land!!!

Karen - Day 51: Pillow Talk

Open eyes.

Did I really just sleep 8 hours straight for the first time in 3 years?

New York rocks.

Had an awesome diner breakfast.

Off to the airport.

While sitting on the plane I start to remember everything I've seen in New York.

Did I mention I lived in New York for a year?

Many years ago.

I lived in a 5 story walk up with 2 girls and a dog in a one bedroom apartment.

I worked at a little diner on the upper west side.

We were so broke, I shared my employee meal with my roommates for dinner.

Whoever had a job the next day got the bed.

Everyone else slept on a futon in the living room.

We were so broke we couldn't pay the cable.

There was only one video.

"Pillow Talk"

Starring Doris Day and Rock Hudson.

It was on a constant loop for months.

New York was crowded and smelly and noisy.

Now it's spacious, clean, and there's a NO HONKING law!

I used to be so angry. Searching for something.

Now I'm visiting a beloved city that's been beaten down but is now taken care of.

Or is it just me?

I remember making lists.

So many lists.

Pros and cons regarding staying in New York.

I went home to L.A.

And met my guy.

And started really living.

I'm somewhere over the midwest now.

Time to watch a movie.

Eat some airplane food.

God I miss my family.

Finally I arrive home.

My kid gives me a giant hug. Then wants to see the treats I brought home.

There is a giant remote control race car track in my living room.

Daddy time clearly rules.

I want to climb into my life again.

I love them.

I haven't seen my Hubby in 16 days.

We have a lot of "catching up" to do.

Please forgive me if I don't post for awhile.

Time for a little Pillow Talk.

Je'taime Burbank!

Day 51 from France: Keep Your Enemies Closer

Shaboom sends us her update from Paris...

I ate 2 raspberry fromage packs and 1 peach yogurt for breakfast.

I met my American friends on their last day in town at Saint Michel again where we ate lunch. I had risotto with artichoke, zuchini, and peppers. Then I drank a little piece of heaven - a 50cl Coca-Cola.

We did tons of walking around Montmartre. Maybe 20 kilometers.

I then went back down to Raspail with them to help them navigate through the French metro system and the train strikes.

Once they were safely on their way to Italy, I went to Bastille to show my face in the bar/nightclub where I had a trial night a way back. Good timing - it was the manager's last day who called me in originally. He is going to manage a place in the 8th in about a month. He put my name and number down in their little black book and said someone would call me soon.

I then met up with Vapors for coffee and she proceeded to talk smack about Obsessed! and his business sense (or lack thereof) for a couple of hours. She is really hard to be around. I feel like I need to keep up a friendship with her in order to have a more tranquil home environment but it's really difficult to hear so many negative things about Obsessed! without buying into it. Maybe she's just trying to get me to feel negative about him so she can a.) get rid of me, b.) comfort Obsessed! when I leave him broken hearted, and c.) win him over and have him for herself.

Have I ever told you she's in love with him? Yeah, I pretty much am convinced that she's in love with him. They've been friends and on-again off-again roommates for about 10 years. They met a few months before he and I met back in 1999.

She and I decided to go for a long walk, because, you know, I hadn't already spent the entire day traipsing around Paris or anything. It started to rain so we headed home.

Vapors cooked ground pork steak, tater tots, and made a salad - all of which she shared with me. I also ate a peach yogurt and 2 pieces of chocolate before heading to bed.

No indoor cardio tonight. She pitted me against him and made me see a lot of things I didn't know about him. I was totally not in the mood. Dagnabbit, evil wins again!

Father's Day

When I was a little girl I would run out to meet my Dad when he came home from work to carry his briefcase into the house.

His hugs smelled of tobacco smoke, paint and leather.

He only wore 100% cotton, 2 pocket shirts and maroon ties.

The pockets were filled with pens, pencils and a pair of glasses.

He made charts and graphs for everything......including Friday night dinner.

On the weekends he would paint pictures. He would set up an easel for me and we would paint together all day.

My Dad made a giant dragon out of chicken wire and paper mache for a play I was in.

It seemed to me, if you could dream it..... he could make it.

Sometimes he would drive us to the desert early in the morning. We would watch the sun come up, have a picnic, and paint pictures of the beauty around us.

My Dad encouraged me in everything I did. When I was 9 I started learning to play the violin.

He loved it so much, he got a violin and asked me to teach him how to play. On his very first lesson I gave him a gold star.

He also learned to play the banjo. We would all hear him play "Turkey In The Straw" into the wee hours. Our poor neighbors.

My Dad taught me how to laugh. He loved to share a joke, story or comic strip with me. He would collect comic strips that tickled him, make copies of them, and put them in a book. His funny book.

My Dad taught me to be kind. He hated any kind of prejudice.

My Dad taught me to appreciate life by pointing out how lucky he was. He would wake up in the morning, take a deep breath and say "Ahhhh another beautiful sunny, Southern California day."

The day I stopped trying to be "dark, brooding and interesting" was the day I started to learn this lesson. One of the happiest moments of my life was the day I opened the curtains and my son asked me "Ahhhhh isn't it a beautiful sunny day Momma?" That one's for you Dad.

My Dad taught me what a good man is. He worshiped my Mom, was a gentleman at all times, and would never go anywhere without lots of kisses from Mom.

My Dad went to every school function, was home every night for dinner, walked me down the isle when I got married and told me he knew I would live happily ever after.

My Dad was a tough marine. Yet so sensitive he couldn't finish many stories. There are about 30 stories I never heard the end of because he would get too choked up.

My Dad taught me patience. No matter what crazy hairdo, philosophy or outfit I came up with, he would just look up from his wood carving, smile and say "Well, different strokes for different folks."

I knew my Dad was always on my side, would stick up for me if he thought I'd been wronged, and gently correct me when he thought I was off track.

Teacher, paint chemist, poet, writer, warrior, painter, sculptor, musician and wood carver.

I was lucky enough to be there the last hours of his life. There was a tube down his throat so he couldn't talk. But when we all whispered our goodbyes in his ear, a few tears fell down his cheek. He hung on. Until my Mom, the love of his life, kissed him goodbye. You see, he would never go anywhere without a lot of kisses from my Mom.

That's how he taught me how to say goodbye.