Thursday, February 16, 2012

Standing My Ground

Shaboom sends us her update from Paris, France :

Valentine's Day this year was pretty much uneventful. I got a flurry of emails and a nice Valentine's card in the mail from Cashew with his usual declaration of love and request for marriage... pretty much identical word-for-word to the hundreds of other love notes he has sent in the past few months since he left Paris. How original. How romantic.

My question is this...

If you're an extremely intelligent, well accomplished man who has been around the block, how is it possible that you hope to change the current situation with the same old tricks which have never worked on me in the past?!

It's sad really. I have enforced a complete black-out on communication from my side since the beginning of the month when it became crystal clear that what we want for the future are two separate things and that both of us are too stubborn to give in. (FYI, I was willing to go half-way, he was willing to have me go all the way - his way or the highway... but there is no highway...)

So since then, as far as I'm concerned, it's over. And I was clear about that. But he won't stop emailing me multiple times a day. As you all know, I've left him in the past but have stayed polite and responded to all his communication with a kind but firm NO. Obviously, that tactic doesn't work. So now I'm reduced to not responding at all. But this does not seem to be working either.

Deep down I know nothing will bend this stubborn mule's will, but I was really hoping that his love for me would be too strong for him to resist. I imagined grand gestures, him hopping a flight to Paris and showing up at my door declaring his love and agreeing to find a way to make this work. Seeing as how he won't budge, I have to face the fact that I'm just not that important to him despite the last few years and that we are not meant to be. Sigh.

Time to move on. Uh... does anyone have any advice on how to get him to cooperate and accept that it's over?

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  1. hey-another totally insightful/truthful post about life and love-i have no advice that might profit you- as i tend to be of like mind and like situation-i don't get ALL these declarations of love and then no action...don't these men realize that love is a verb -an action word-thereby requiring action by the subject...THE IRONY of it all-but i think you are on to something with the black out/RADIO SILENCE plan...and i was sorry to read 54 martinis was held up at work...COME ON DUDE-so not cool-please do keep us posted have you recovered from the folsom prison blues yet-YOU SURE DO LEAD AN INTERESTING LIFE -enjoy your day/weekend

  2. ohmygoodness Kat - you are definitely open and honest so hold your ground if that is what is right for you. hell, I might have to hop a plane to Paris to cheer you up :) I know, I know, I'm sooooo selfless ;)

  3. Thanks G. re: 54 Martini's - I just don't understand how if you're trying to impress a woman who is barely willing to even see you, how are you going to do stupid shit like be late and not show and NOT EVEN APOLOGIZE?! I need to stop attracting Type A men.

    Keri - you always amaze me with your altruism. please, come to paris soon. and bring good shoes. and a cute masseur from west hollywood who wears cool water and who will compliment me on my FIERCE shoes and handbag.

    THIS IS WHEN I MISS MY MO'S THE MOST! (Luckily Unicorn is coming a week from today!)

  4. Paris in the Spring might be nice..I never did see the Louvre. Maybe Karen and Marija will join for a girls week :)